done.

i am done, DONE with the semester. I don't have words right now to express the feelings i feel. so i just wont talk about it.

(i just got an email about my ballet class next semester. you are required to wear a leotard and tights. so i will not be taking the class. sad day. because i refuse to wear a leotard and tights. and pink ballet slippers. which i do not own.)

i think that was all.

refocus

ok. I was doing really good on my paper....until awhile ago happened. And i stopped writing. So after this is done i will go back to writing. Cause since no one is home, they are all out to eat...sad. i refrained from going even! go me. i had a bowl of cereal. I don't have any more cereal. i finished my take home test this morning. awesome! i took my computer test this morning..........................i don't even care how i did. that has been thee most awful class ever known to man kind and i don't ever want to see or think about it again. so i won't talk about it ever again...(except if i pass...which probably wont happen) so i just have my paper to finish...3 pages...I CAN DO IT. I JUST WANT TO BE DONE. and a final at 9:30 tomwwm. and then i think i will sit down and cry for a few hours. cause thats just what i feel like doing. all the joy, grief, pain, and crap will be over. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

ps. my little brother is funny. He makes me laugh a lot in my life.

real quick.

IT IS SO HARD TO STUDY ON THE COMPUTER. I HATE IT. PLEASE END. but i have to. theres not other way. my final is tom at 7:30. my fate will then be decided. my mom thinks that i am going to be retaking this class.....yeah right. i would rather be shot. its been a good night though. my brother brought me food. that was nice. katies bf brought breadsticks from work. and seriously. i could eat all of them. the kind from papa murphys. there quite tasty. then those same folks brought me a donut. i've been eatin' real healthy as you can tell. now i am cold though cause i drank some milk. milk is healthough though.

batman is on right now. and i can't watch it. i think i might have to go in my room. i really should go to the library. i should have gone to the library hours ago. its just so coooold outside.

ok. i must be off.

its almost over

Took my first final this morning. Took 1 hour and 45 minutes. Finals are NOT supposed to take that long. I think I did pretty good...Hopefully. alkjwenoiwn

1 down.
3 1/2 to go....

I'm taking a break from the homework. I got a lot done today! But not enough. Never enough. I need to study for my computer final....but its sooooooo hard. And I need to work on my projects to......i'll stop complaining.

It snowed today. Did you notice? Yes, lovely surprise when I woke up this morning. But it was alright. Cause it wasn't to cold. I need a scraper thing for my car. Cause I don't have one. Cause I got my car this summer. When there isn't any snow. And its warm. I used my umbrella today to wipe it off to go to work. ...this is all really boring... I want to go skiing!! Or snowboarding. I am a skier but it seems that everyone and their dog do the snowboarding thing. And I have been once. It was fun, I just couldn't get off the lift. Not once. I fell every. single. time. The guy would see me coming and just slow the lift down for me. But the snowboarding part was fun.

I am excited for Christmas. I like buying Christmas presents for people. wahoooo...

green jacket.

I am feeling sort of angry right now. A little bit ago it was a lot angry. I have no idea why I feel angry I just do. i think the end of the semester might be getting to me. oh wait. this semester has already to gotten me....about 6 weeks ago.

The other day....there was a movie on....what movie was it? I think it was Hook. Yes, i believe so. So I love that show, its a good one ya know? And it was on the tv and one of my favorite parts of the movie was on. And i got all excited and choked up and was darn near tears. So after that little episode of my being crazy we decided that i am a very emotional person. When i think of an emotional person i think of a person who cries a lot. I don't cry a lot. I never cry. Like 4 times a year maybe of actual crying episodes. But times when i want to cry, or maybe even get choked up?? hmmm...i don't know, i'd say on average at least twice a week? Maybe that is not a lot, or a lot, or i am just crazy. Maybe its only once a week? One of these days i will find all those tears and will probably cry for a week straight for no apparent reason.

but back to me be angry. i am listing to some music loud at the moment. (with the earphones of course, stupid speakers) so i am feeling better. i kind of feel like crying now....just kidding.

tomwomw is my last day of class. I will never have to go to computer programming. EVER. AGAIN. I had my last homework of the semester due on wednesday. did i get it done. Yes. did the program run. NO. I COULDN'T GET THE FREAKING THING TO WORK. Still the fatal error or whatever the crap was wrong with it...now i'm angry again. Hopefully they don't think it looks the same as my brothers and i wont get in trouble for cheating....cause i spent the whole night on the stupid thing. Right now my grade is 70.4%. So the final will decide if i pass the class or not. And since I got 51% on the last test.....sigh.

work was amazing again today!!!

if your stressing out over what you can get me for christmas(because i know you all are) you can get me the new jack's mannequin cd. The Glass Passenger. Cause i like him. and i like the one song that i have. i listen to it a lot...hahahahahahahah. lkjasoifjmoweakfjslkdfjsdflkjaslkfjalkfj hahahahaha. yeah.

i feel like i need to tell a story about something that happened to me today. hm, lets see. i got to sleep in...not so exciting....can't say anything about work...uh...saren cleaned the bathroom....i didn't start on my project...yeah sorry. no stories here.

I know! I signed up for ballet!! intermediate ballet to be correct. The first one was at 8:30. There's no way that was going to happen. This one is at 9:30 so we'll see how it goes. I have signed up for a pe class every semester of my college life and i always have to drop the class for some reason. So hopefully i stay in this one. I like ballet? i hope its not hard? i have danced my whole life, i think i'll be ok? do i have to wear tights? I do like ballet though. i think its really soothing. that sounds super weird. the only ballet i have done is technique, mostly bar stuff. and i really liked it. it was calming.

i'm going to be done with this now. so i can go to bed. cause i'm exhausted.

ps. i'm not angry anymore. feelin' pretty good acutally.

Well folks...

This is it. My last computer homework. And it won't run. If anyone knows what

Debug Assertion Failure!

means I would love the help. Its due at midnight. And it won't run. I think it should work....I don't even know. I know WHERE the problem I just have ZERO ideas on how to fix it. I have been staring at it for like 20 minutes now.I want to throw my computer out the window. And the go run over it with my car...no that wouldn't be very satisfying. Maybe go jump on it then hit it with a sledgehammer a few times...now that would feel good. sigh. i'm going to cry.

When I go home for work there is sometimes this old man(looks like he doesn't have teeth, might be homeless? but i don't think so cause he is always in front of a house) sitting on a chair on the side of the road smoking. Today I saw him before work. He was riding a very small girl's bike with a puffy coat and a few of those gangsta gold chain things...it was very strange. I laughed though.

by the way. work was AWESOME today. really. it was a really good day. I wish there was more days like it. even though that won't happen. but thats ok. it was a nice break.

have you ever made a decision and then immediately regretted it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE

(not really. but i mean. in the moment it sure seems like it. and it sucks.)

dec 1

its back to school. oh oh oh. one week of class left. and about 57 hours left of homework. Not counting studying for finals. so yes. its going to be a pleasant week. But i did good today. i didn't have to work today so i went to the library! and did homework for a really really really long time. yeehaw. is that how you spell that sound. cause i don't really like it no matter how its spelled. i need to go buy food for fhe. but i don't want to get up. i just want to on the couch for the rest of my life.

the polar express is a really good movie. i love it a lot.

i like harry potter too. despite the fact that really i don't like them but really i do.

thanksgiving

thanksgiving day

- orange cinnamon rolls in the morning.
- food. lots of good food. my gma is a good cook.
- went to the movie with the fam. minus the little brother cause he is in vegas playing football. We saw Quantum of Solace. Which i must say was pretty good. I liked it.
- jon & kate plus 8 marathon! i only saw a bit of a few episodes but i love that show.
- more food.
- didn't have to watch any football.

so all in all thanksgiving was a grand day. minus not having the little brother home. its just not the same when the whole family's(?) not there.

i want to read!!!! its killing me. i hate not being able to read during the semester. i got a book from the library to read this weekend. but i wont be able to cause i have so much dang homework to do. which is what i have been trying to do all day. and i want to set up the christmas tree too. but can't do that either cause of homework. i was just on overstock and looking at all the books. i would like to buy all of them please. jk rowling has a new book that is coming out that is supposed to be one of the books that is in the last book. hermoine translated it. but i will be buying it. cause i like harry potter.

i get to go shopping later though! which i am quite excited about because i need new shoes! and i love shoes!

gobble gobble

Its Thanksgiving break!!!!! Which means I didn't have to work or go to school this morning!!!! I got to sleep in!!! so nice. But I have been doing homework all morning...and not getting very far. You see its usually a good thing to actually know how to do your homework before you do it...so its been a bit of a struggle. I just did the dishes...only there is still a sink fun cause the dishwasher was already half full...at least the sink doesn't smell funny anymore. (which i totally disgusting no matter what.)

Yesterday I saw Twilight. And like my good pal Chessie I pretty much laughed through the whole thing. Oh gosh it was so stupid. I was very disappointed. If you haven't seen it, don't. Ok so first off Edward was sooooo awkward. I mean I had to stop myself from curling up in my seat from the embarrassment. Edward is NOT supposed to be awkward. He's like 100 years old for goodness sakes. He is never at a loss for words and always smooth. That is probably what bothered me the most. The movie might have actually been good if he hadn't been so awfully horribly awkward. It was terrible. And plus his ugly hair. Seriously my favorite part was when it was all wet from the rain and wasn't 3 feet high. Bella was good. The other vampire's were pretty good, they should have been in the show more....made it more interesting. But I did get a cupcake before the movie cause there was a birthday at work!! love cupcakes.

favorite parts though: the baseball game was the best part of the whole movie. But they left out my favorite part of the book...uh...i liked that everything was so green. I knew it was green up there but it was REALLY green. i really liked all of Edwards family, I wanted them to be in the movie more. and...can't think of anything else, oh yeah. I really liked her gloves, i want some.

After the movie we went to the basketball game. It was...like a basketball game. We played Weber and were down the whole first half. But then we won. By like 20. So it was exciting.

I am going home today...as soon as I get this stupid homework done...so that means i'll probably never go home. ha...ha...ha. But i get to do homework all weekend too. yipee...i just love school... Right now I am signed up for 9 credits for next semester and there is one more class I need to take...but I think i might just stick with 9 after the semester of death I have had this fall. sigh.

weekend!!

Yesterday there was a HUGE spider in my house. MASSIVE. Saren killed it.

right now ashley is playing the recorder. She is practicing it cause apparently you have to be able to play the recorder to be an elementary teacher. I never played the recorder in elementary. I didn't even know what one was till at least jr. high. i'm not gonna lie. Its kind of annoying sounding.

i ate lunch twice today. i ate lunch at home. a gross tv dinner. i forgot that they have a teacher luncheon the last friday of the month. so i had taco salad too. cause i mean, i'm not gonna pass up good homecooked food when its around. and i'm allowed to eat it. AND peanut butter rice krispie treats. mmmmmm so good. school was crazy today. it was crazy yesterday too. crazier than usual. if thats even possible. i am really excited for thanksgiving and christmas break.

i was gonna write about something this morning but i forgot. i got utah state sweatpants today!!!! they are for christmas!!! so that means my mom pays me back for them. i take them to her and she wraps them. and i open them up on christmas morning!!! they are kinda big...super comfy though.

so i have nothing to do tonight. i was gonna home saturday for a friends wedding reception.....but i might just go home tonight....cause i don't have anything to do....which is sad cause i don't really want to go home....cause i'll be home all thanksgiving break....and....yeah. maybe i could get my mom to go see twilight....which i don't even know if i want to see...but i mean. come one. you have to go see it. how can just NOT go see this movie. even if Edward is super ugly. i guess the first book was my favorite even though i hate the fact that i have even read them at all. they really are horrible written books. i mean a good idea...but just not good writing....anyways....i'm bored already and its only 4 15. and i still can't remember what i was going to write about from this morning.

i cleaned! actually i did the dishes!

Really

I just want to curl up into a ball and die. I am SO SICK OF THIS. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

rainy monday

it didn't rain today. But i did listen to that song. And i haven't listened to it in forever. and its a good song. it makes me happy.

this morning. i totally forgot to write about my near death experience. Saren and I (me?) almost DIED this morning. I didn't want to ride the shuttle up to school. I have decided that i hate the shuttle. Saren had just woke up and so i asked her if she could give me a ride to school. I let her take my car cause i am nice like that. So we were driving up the hill. and then we saw our friend austin. and it being early morning and neither of our brains were properly working we both looked over to see him on the sidewalk. All of a sudden saren looks back and there is a car RIGHT in front of us. so saren SCREAMS and swerves out of the way so she doesn't kill my car. Then she does the whole protective mother thing and puts her arm in front of me and yells ARE YOU OK?!? IS THE CAR OK?!? AM I OK?!?! i just sat there. I was to shocked to react. i sat there for a few more seconds. then. i don't even remember. i don't think i ever said anything about it. it scared the crap out of me. please don't kill my car.

thanks austin for almost killing us this morning.

monday.

I have a class at 8:30. The class I have is CS 1400. computer programming. hate it. loathe it. but i usually can stay awake for the first bit. but between 8:53 and 9:02 i start to get tired. and i can't keep my eyes open. and i have to put my head down. to rest. its awful. and now i'm in the library. my 10:30 class is done now. i just have to go to class to hear people give presentations on their projects. and take the final and do my own project. which is going to be awesome....i hope i did good on my test!!!

it took me almost 2 hours to go to sleep last night. it used to always take me at least an hour to go to sleep every night. i don't miss that.

i love that my job always has the same or more days of than college. its very convenient.

i dont think any of what i just wrote made sense.

back to computer programming. i think my teacher is crazy. she LOVES computer programming. its unhealthy really. and as much as she loves it she's not very good at explaining it. at all. horrible in fact. i had fun writing the evaluation for the class.

really i'm done talking now.

go me.

Hello folks. I would just like to let you all know how incredibly awesomely productive I was today.

slept in till 10:30. Saren texted me and woke me up from the weirdest dream ever. Ballet dancers eating peoples extra limbs.....yeah....

ate breakfast.

cleaned the living room. vacuumed, dusted, go me.

saw ashley. you see she doesn't come around much. so we chatted for a bit.

got my haircut!! yay!! i love to get my haircut.

watched step up 2. AND did homework. I got 3/4 of it done for one class. and its not even due till WEDNESDAY. go me.

went grocery shopping. i got milk, yogurt, cereal, and 2 bananas.

cashed a check.

did MORE homework. whooooa. what was that. MORE homework. Thats right. go me.

And now i am writing this blog. I might even do MORE homework. Cause I am just feeling super motivated today. go me.

I went bowling on...Thursday. I went home on Thursday too. Good times. I had to go into my mom's work to get stuff for my project that I have to do for one of my classes. So i got to see the little brother at home. Who I really like. He's funny. And is going to be FIFTEEN at the end of the month. AND is going to be allowed to drive. Cause they give out permits a year early these days. Scary. But bowling. I think i go 76 for my first game. There were four of us in my lane and I actually beat someone!!! go me. I didn't do as good the second game...64 or something. But i broke 50 both times!! go me. So I am getting better. Bowling is super fun. I forget that its fun sometimes but I really like it.

Last night was the basketball game. We won by a ton. It was pretty fun. I have a hard time paying attention to basketball. I like it a million times better than football but i get distracted to easily. We had good seats though. Went to Village Inn after...i don't like to eat late. it was good though.

i'll be done now.

taking small break

I have a test tomwomw and also a big assignment that i need to finish still. But i need to take a break. hopefully the test goes ok....

hey! i went and cleaned the kitchen sink at angie's. Not by myself though...there was a bunch of us. i really liked the whipped cream. That was fun though.

I had to go to the african children's choir tonight. pretty much got choked up in almost every single song. it wasn't cause it was super moving or anything. I don't know. i am just feeling super overwhelmed today and the little kids singing just made me want to curl up into a ball and cry for a few hours. but it was still really good. they all want to be doctors, lawyers, and pilots when they grow up. and 1 optometrist. so cute. that was my last performance for art class. so i just have to write the paper and i am done!!!!

the people over at my house are all watching get smart right now...but i can't watch. sad. it looks really funny. i really think i would like to go to bed though. sigh.

good night though i think. and pizza. brad. this kid katie is dating. he works at papa murphys. and he brings us pizza a lot. to eat. and its good. the breadsticks are my very very favorite though. i could eat a whole thing of them i think. so yes. continue with the pizza bringing please.

so. tired.

I am home right now. Home home. In Hooper. Cause I needed to come home so that I could get my contacts. So I can see. Cause without them I wouldn't be able to. Just so you all know, I have really bad eyesight. I have had glasses since I was in third grade. Now you know. I am blind.

Its only 11 but I would really like to go to bed. But I can't cause I need to turn my homework in but my laptop is in my brothers truck which is not home right now. I love to go to bed rediculously early when I come home. The last time I came home I fell asleep at 8:30. This may have had something to do with the prescription cough medcine that I took. But still. It was lovely.

The fireplace in my house has a mantle/bookshelf things now. Its neato. My dad built it. He's cool like that. I didn't bring my camera home though. Oh and ps did I mention that my dad bought a truck a few weeks ago?!? Yeah he did. A big one. I haven't seen it though cause the scouts are camping. A truck though. He's been talking about it for ages and he acutally got one. I couldn't believe it. (There is a mosquito flying around. I THOUGHT THEY ALL DIED) So yeah. heaven=dad+truck;

(i don't ever tell my mom about my homework. cause she gets way stressed about it. so if she ever knew how much i didn't do my homework. procrastinated. she would probbaly have a heart attack. she's really stressing that i have 45 more minutes for the brother to come home so I can turn my stuff in. i just need my glasses so i can go to bed.)

and i will be done rambling now. good night.

one more thing. my little brother is turning 15 at the end of the month. which means he will get his drivers permit. which is insane. totally crazy. he is still like 7 years old i swear. if 7 year olds can be 6'2....

ballet

Right now I am not doing my homework. I haven't even started. Its due in two hours. And I have no plans of starting it. Which is a very very bad idea. But I don't care. (...maybe that's why i didn't do so well on the last test.....)

anyways.

I just got back from the ballet. Canada's Royal Winnipeg Ballet. Carmina Burana. or something. I don't want to look up the spelling. I liked it. It was better than the last ballet I saw...This one was mostly contemporary ballet which I've never seen before. It was good though. I kind of was wanting to giggle though the whole thing. Giggling in a good way. I guess? Sometimes I just feel the need to laugh. But then in the middle. All the boys got on their very short and tight...spankys...I'll call them. Or maybe boxer briefs. Pink even. It was bad. But I was trying to be the mature adult that I am. It was kind of hard because everyone else kept snickering and laughing. But I mean, come on, it was pretty funny.(to quote the little brother. "It looks like he's got a squirrel down his pants!" (david bowie. labyrinth.)) So I smiled and tried not to laugh. When really inside I was having a meltdown. hahahaha. I kind of felt like I was five years old. I kept laughing the whole way home.

ok. new story. School. Being kindergarten. Being work. Yesterday. When it rained and hailed like crazy for 7 minutes then stopped and was just freezing cold. I was on the blue table. Trying to get some things done. We were drawing what we had been for Halloween. (I wans't doing any of this. the kids. i was kind of jealous though) and there was this wierd noise and then a huge clap of thunder. Scared the crap out of me. Everyone went really quiet and I looked at my child, cause I was kind of thinking they would burst into tears. And then for some reason I wanted to burst into tears cause it startled me so much. So I had to sit there for a few minutes to make sure I wasn't going to break down in the middle of kindergarten.

I was looking through my pictures. And I felt the need to post this. Seductive.

ps. i just called my parents. and woke them up. sorry!

i like cake.

Today in kindergarten the teacher was explaining to the kids that today their parents were voting for the next president and all that. (they got to vote for the school tshirt design) Then she asked the kids to guess who the current president was. And this little boy, who is sooo sooo very cute raised his hand and said, "...President Monson?" holy cow. Possibly one of thee cutest things i have ever heard. It was adorable. So she said no and explained that he was the president of the church, and we have a president of the United States too. oh dear. so cute.

i have to go to the ballet tomwwom. My first and only ballet experience thus far in my life. was not a good one. I swear it was three hours long. and that is EXcluding the time it took for the fire alarm to go off because of some fireworks and for us to evacuate the building for a half hour or so. and then go back and have everyone get back in their seats blah blah blah. so. i hope its better than that. As long as the fire alarm doesn't go off. it will be better. apparently there is 3 seperate ballets...i don't know.

hw. no good.

bgd

i went to the howl for halloween. it was funner than last year. but seriously. i am NOT going next year. I know i said this last year. But....we didn't have anything to do. The band people were cool, it smelled bad really awful horribly bad, and my hair look freakin awesome thanks to saren.

sat was the football game. we won. we actually won a game. AND we got to sit on the couch. We know someone that knows someone. And we got free pizza. I think that is how all football games should be really. i would enjoy them a lot more in my life.

its going to be cold on wed.

i wish the sound worked on my computer. its super depressing. (it does work with earphones. but i just want to listen to it normal please)

vote. i hope my thing got mailed.

fhe=dinner=yum

saren likes to sing....hahahahah. i won't embaress her.